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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

What will my kids say about me?

What will my kids say about me?

Have you ever thought about what your kids will say about you when they are adults? I have two boys. They are 14 and 11. I think about what I say about my parents, and how my thoughts for them have changed over the years. What I realize now is that they really did do their best. I always knew I was loved.

I pray that my kids will know that they had parents who taught them about love and showed them God’s love in how we loved them. There are many times when I have failed. I really hope it doesn’t mess them up too much. Like when I licked pudding off of Jack’s head.  Should I explain that one? Umm okay.

Jack was 6 months old, not sleeping through the night. I was exhausted, hadn’t showered in days. He would not let anyone but me hold him. I was soo hungry and tired. I got a cup of pudding and sat down, he started screaming. I started nursing him and was rolling a ball to Kendall with my foot, trying to eat the pudding with one hand. Danny walks in from work, the dog barks and the pudding drops on Jack’s head, I start to cry. Danny says, “Are you okay?” I stop crying and look him right in the eye and lick the pudding off Jack’s head. He looked like he was looking at someone who could at any moment start shooting red hot laser beams through a steal enforced wall. He slowly and deliberately backed away without saying another word.

Have I warped my child for life because of the pudding incident? When he is 30 and in the shrink’s office crying on the couch, saying “It all started when my mother licked pudding off my head.”  Oh boy, I hope not. Big sigh…maybe it won’t be the pudding, maybe it will be that time I decided to show Kendall how to catch a baseball and instead hit him right between the eyes with the ball. He still brings that up….yea it will probably be that.

Ugh, we are all a flawed people. I pray that the times I kissed the ouchies, made hot chocolate on cold days, let them sleep with me when a bad dream came, told them how very much God loved them, and how very much I love them will be the things they will remember. And when they remember my failings that they also remember that mom was one who was never afraid to ask for forgiveness when she messed up, which seemed to be a lot. 

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