Paul is a conundrum!

Paul is a conundrum!

Galatians 1:13-23

Paul reminds the people of Galatia of his past to help them see and understand how God has changed him. He also does it to help them understand that he knows what they are hearing about keeping the law. He himself was a master law keeper. But the old way is not the way of Jesus. Prophesy was fulfilled in Jesus and now salvation comes through Faith in Christ, which was not just for the Jews.

In verse 23 Paul talks about going to a church who was scared of him-rightly so! I think I would have been a bit intimidated by Paul. A killer turned into a grace giver! What a conundrum!

It is interesting to me that in this first chapter Paul talks about Jews, and Gentiles and how he was on the outs with both groups. When God called Paul it was a miracle. So very interesting that He picked Paul. The transformation that happened in Paul,  and how God used it all. Not one part of Paul’s life was wasted. Even in his sin God made sure that it would later be used to glorify Him.

How can I obey? We all have a little Paul in us I think. A little “I think I know it all” till God comes along and reveals Truth to us. How can I be humble enough to ask God what it is that I think I know but really don’t understand at all?

Also where is God calling me to share my ugly past to give God glory? Paul wasn’t afraid to say, “I’ve done a lot of wrong things, BUT God….”

Am I willing to do that? Are you?

Grace and Peace

Grace and Peace

Galatians 1:1-14

Interesting that Paul uses Grace and Peace as a greeting. According to my notes Grace was a Gentile greeting, while peace was a Jewish greeting. In these two words he brings them both Jew and Gentile together. Grace and Peace is what the gospel is all about.

Apparently there was some trouble happening with the church at Galatia. They were being told about another gospel. Paul was reminding them who he was in Christ and that his message was not sent to please them but to please God. Paul was not in it for the popularity. He was not in ministry to: please people, have no pain, or have anyone really like him as a person. Which is funny because some of Paul’s adversaries were saying he was just saying things to please people because his emphasis was not on keeping the laws. Paul tells this crowd, “hey I was the biggest law keeper there was BUT God revealed a new way.”

How can I obey? My ministry should not be based on getting people to like me. That is not my goal. My goal like Paul should be: total loyalty to Jesus Christ and helping them get connected to Him.

What will my kids say about me?

What will my kids say about me?

Have you ever thought about what your kids will say about you when they are adults? I have two boys. They are 14 and 11. I think about what I say about my parents, and how my thoughts for them have changed over the years. What I realize now is that they really did do their best. I always knew I was loved.

I pray that my kids will know that they had parents who taught them about love and showed them God’s love in how we loved them. There are many times when I have failed. I really hope it doesn’t mess them up too much. Like when I licked pudding off of Jack’s head.  Should I explain that one? Umm okay.

Jack was 6 months old, not sleeping through the night. I was exhausted, hadn’t showered in days. He would not let anyone but me hold him. I was soo hungry and tired. I got a cup of pudding and sat down, he started screaming. I started nursing him and was rolling a ball to Kendall with my foot, trying to eat the pudding with one hand. Danny walks in from work, the dog barks and the pudding drops on Jack’s head, I start to cry. Danny says, “Are you okay?” I stop crying and look him right in the eye and lick the pudding off Jack’s head. He looked like he was looking at someone who could at any moment start shooting red hot laser beams through a steal enforced wall. He slowly and deliberately backed away without saying another word.

Have I warped my child for life because of the pudding incident? When he is 30 and in the shrink’s office crying on the couch, saying “It all started when my mother licked pudding off my head.”  Oh boy, I hope not. Big sigh…maybe it won’t be the pudding, maybe it will be that time I decided to show Kendall how to catch a baseball and instead hit him right between the eyes with the ball. He still brings that up….yea it will probably be that.

Ugh, we are all a flawed people. I pray that the times I kissed the ouchies, made hot chocolate on cold days, let them sleep with me when a bad dream came, told them how very much God loved them, and how very much I love them will be the things they will remember. And when they remember my failings that they also remember that mom was one who was never afraid to ask for forgiveness when she messed up, which seemed to be a lot. 

A River Runs Through It

A River Runs Through It

I love the movie “A River Runs Through It” It is one of my favorites. For those who have not seen it, it is a story about a pastor and his wife who have two boys. The boys are very close. They do everything together. They both come from the same stable loving home, but their stories become radically different. One makes wise choices and is a success, while the other makes bad choices and those choices end up getting him in lots of trouble.

The pastor father struggles and in some of my favorite lines of all time says this

“Each one of us here today would at one time in our lives looked upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question ‘We are willing to help Lord, but what if anything is needed?’ For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us, either we don’t know what part of ourselves to give or the part we have to give is not wanted. But we can still love them, we can love completely with out complete understanding.”

So true isn’t it? I have had many people in my life that I have loved completely without complete understanding. With offering them love and help only to be rejected or ignored. They keep making the same choices the ones that I look at and judge and think, “can’t they see how that is hurting them?”  I don’t know. I have like in the movie lost a family member that I could not help. The ones left behind often wonder,  “Could I have done more?”

But to love completely with out complete understanding means to give up our right to judge their behavior, it means we look for the good in them, it means we love them any way. 

A visit to Granny :)

A visit to Granny

I had to share this story with you all. My family (me, hubby, 2 boys) all went to go visit Granny in the nursing home the other day. Granny is 89 years old (I think) and was married for like 60 years to the same man. Grandpa died at 93 a couple of years ago. Granny calls her late husband "Dad".  Couple other things you need to know about Granny is that she is not afraid to speak her mind. Sometimes this has included walking up to people and saying, "Well girl you sure are looking fat!"  I don't take offense, I just laugh it off, but it is an on going joke in the family that you just don't know what you are going to hear from Granny.

So when we went to see her in the nursing home the other day we were delighted when we all got compliments! She said my hubby was looking younger every day. I was pretty. My younger son had such a cute dimple that all the girls would go after him, and my older son was so tall and handsome! Wow we were all smiling at this. She must have felt a little feisty with us all so happy. So she started talking about her new home, it went something like this:

Granny: I just don't know why I'm in this place. It is too much money for me to be here. At least they keep it clean, but there are some really sick people here, I don't like looking at them, Oh mercy.

Our response: Oh Granny don't worry about the cost, they take good care of you here and I'm sure there are plenty of things to do.

Granny: Well there aint a nothin to do here. Some people play cards. I don't like to play cards. Some people put puzzles together. I aint never liked to do that. Oh mercy me!

Our response: Well Grandma what do you like to do?

Granny: Well when me and Dad were on the farm we would eat a good dinner, then we would do a little "rough housing"  and then in a little bit then we would go to sleep.

Our response:

Yeah nothing. What do you say to your 89-year-old grandma who just talked to you about what she considered her favorite past time with her hubby?

I will never view the words "rough housing" the same way again!! Tooo funny!! I can't wait to get old and be able to say whatever I want!!

It was so sweet though as we were walking out the door she said with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face, "You all take good care of each other" I smiled at my hubby and said, "We will Grandma"

Hope you got a smile out this also!

P.S. This story was written a few years ago when Granny was still alive, she went home to be with Granpa a few years ago now.  Miss and love her still.

Unexpected Gifts

Unexpected Gifts

There is a release that comes from writing. When I was 13 and my mom was sick with cancer and I was lost, my mom took me to a therapist. She suggested journaling. I’ve been writing ever since. I could write things that I could not speak. I could write them and be freed from their grip on me.

My dad is dyslexic and while reading a good story was never something I saw him do. He can tell a story better than anyone I have ever heard. I hope to write some of the stories he has shared here. They are good ones. Some very funny, some very sad. A truly great story teller.

My mom was an avid reader, as am I. I think one of the reasons I loved to read was because I saw how much my dad and sister both wanted to but never could. I would read to my sister for hours. She loved it. It is also how I got to be nominated to be in my first play.  My teacher chose me because I would have each character have a different voice. Thus started my love of acting.

It’s funny isn’t it? The hard things showed me my gifts. I would not have known how to write if it weren’t for the therapist I had to go to because my mom had cancer. I would not have loved to read had I not had a sister and dad who could not. I would not have been an actress were it not for reading to my sister and her begging me to “do the voices”

There are gifts that come from the hard things.

I don't know, I say that a lot

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t even have most of them. I usually have more questions than anything. Why do people smile and shake their head when asked how they are? Why do I always put my pants on the same way every day? Why does one windshield wiper on my van always work better than the other one, and the one that works better is on the passenger side?

I don’t know. I say that a lot.  I wish I was smarter. I’m not an imbecile but I’m not brilliant either (I just had to do spell check on imbecile and brilliant and I got them both wrong case in point) but there is one thing I know. I know people. I can read them pretty well. I have always had that gift. I listen well. I’m also not afraid to look stupid. I think both of these gifts have served me well in my life. I laugh a lot, mostly at myself. I take joy in crazy trivial things that most people don’t take notice of at all. I like that about myself.

Why does any of this matter? I don’t know. I say that a lot.  I’m a bottom line kind of girl, so let me bottom line it for you. There are things we all wish were different about ourselves, but love looks for the good.  Look for the good in yourself, then share it with someone to brighten their day. Love looks for the good, even in yourself.

What' love got to do with it?

What’s love got to do with it?

What's love got to do with it? Remember that song? 

When it's hard and I'm angry with someone, there are times when I know God has called me to love them, and I want to say, "But God what's love got to do with it, with how they have treated me, with how they have hurt me, or other people that I love, where was love when that happened?" 

My attitude is not one of love but of hurt, and anger. I think it's righteous indignation. I think I have a right to feel this way. But then I look at Jesus. He had a right too. He had a reason. He choose love. When he said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" He could have said, "Dad, could you dish out some discipline on these heathens, even if they don't understand what they are doing, it's still wrong, and it still hurts" He could have, he had a right, he had a reason, he chose love. and not just any love, but a lay down his life, bridge the chasm of law, kind of love. He chose love, what makes me think I have a right to choose anything else?