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Friday, March 29, 2013

Embarrassing Moment


Embarrassing moments, we all have em. And if you don’t then your just lying. Some embarrassing moments can actually and usually turn into some of the funniest. It usually takes awhile before we find them funny but eventually if we are not too proud we will admit that it was pretty darn funny.

Okay when I was 17 I worked as a waitress in a very small town at a truck stop. There were only about 4 other waitress’s that worked my shift. There was Patsy an older lady that chewed gum and reminded me a lot of Flo from the sitcom Alice. Then there was Martha who was kind of a biker chick who took no prisoners, I was always a little afraid of her. Then there was Nan who took waitresing way to seriously if you ask me. Then there was my boss. My boss’s name was Norma. Norma was a very neat lady. Everyone in the town loved her. She died rather unexpectantly. We were all shocked and sad.

I of course wanted to attend the memorial service for Norma. Our town only had one funeral home so I heard the day that the funeral was going to be and got all dressed up and decided to go. I was very nervous. Norma’s death was very tragic. Her husband had shot her and so going into the service my mind was racing with thoughts like, “I wonder if the husband’s family will be here, I wonder if there will be fighting.” I just kept thinking okay I’ll just go in, do my duty and leave.

So I walk in and see Martha. I think oh good a familiar face! I made bee line for Martha. She looks up and says, “I am so glad you are here, I can’t believe you came.”
I said, “Yea I thought I should.”
She said, “Well my husband will be so glad.”
I thought, “hmm wonder why her husband will be glad, maybe he is related to Norma, it’s such a small town, everyone seems to be related to everyone.”
Martha then proceeds to take my arm and says, “Let me take you up to the casket.”
I am mortified. I have never been one who likes to go up to caskets, but what can I do? Martha the biker chick has my arm in a vice gripe. I am looking everywhere but at the casket on the way up to the casket and when we finally stop right in from of it I take a look and out of my mouth in slow motion I hear myself say

“That’s not Norma.”

Martha says, “of course its not, that is my father-in-law. You didn’t come here for him?”

“Ummm well yes of course I did, I’m so sorry for your father-in-law” And then walked briskly out the door only to find a sign that had an arrow with Norma’s name pointed to another room.  I did not go in.

I know it’s warped, and all but it’s one of those moments that can make me laugh no matter how bad my day is going, maybe if you’re warped too it gave you a chuckle.

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