Embarrassing Moment

Embarrassing moments, we all have em. And if you don’t then your just lying. Some embarrassing moments can actually and usually turn into some of the funniest. It usually takes awhile before we find them funny but eventually if we are not too proud we will admit that it was pretty darn funny.

Okay when I was 17 I worked as a waitress in a very small town at a truck stop. There were only about 4 other waitress’s that worked my shift. There was Patsy an older lady that chewed gum and reminded me a lot of Flo from the sitcom Alice. Then there was Martha who was kind of a biker chick who took no prisoners, I was always a little afraid of her. Then there was Nan who took waitresing way to seriously if you ask me. Then there was my boss. My boss’s name was Norma. Norma was a very neat lady. Everyone in the town loved her. She died rather unexpectantly. We were all shocked and sad.

I of course wanted to attend the memorial service for Norma. Our town only had one funeral home so I heard the day that the funeral was going to be and got all dressed up and decided to go. I was very nervous. Norma’s death was very tragic. Her husband had shot her and so going into the service my mind was racing with thoughts like, “I wonder if the husband’s family will be here, I wonder if there will be fighting.” I just kept thinking okay I’ll just go in, do my duty and leave.

So I walk in and see Martha. I think oh good a familiar face! I made bee line for Martha. She looks up and says, “I am so glad you are here, I can’t believe you came.”

I said, “Yea I thought I should.”

She said, “Well my husband will be so glad.”

I thought, “hmm wonder why her husband will be glad, maybe he is related to Norma, it’s such a small town, everyone seems to be related to everyone.”

Martha then proceeds to take my arm and says, “Let me take you up to the casket.”

I am mortified. I have never been one who likes to go up to caskets, but what can I do? Martha the biker chick has my arm in a vice gripe. I am looking everywhere but at the casket on the way up to the casket and when we finally stop right in from of it I take a look and out of my mouth in slow motion I hear myself say

“That’s not Norma.”

Martha says, “of course its not, that is my father-in-law. You didn’t come here for him?”

“Ummm well yes of course I did, I’m so sorry for your father-in-law” And then walked briskly out the door only to find a sign that had an arrow with Norma’s name pointed to another room.  I did not go in.

I know it’s warped, and all but it’s one of those moments that can make me laugh no matter how bad my day is going, maybe if you’re warped too it gave you a chuckle.

FMS

I have diabetes, asthma, fibromyalgia, have been known to have a panic attack or two, and ADD. The ADD is the most fun one by the way. It cracks my whole family up! Squirrel!  

Any way, for the most part I haven’t told many people about the ailments that I’ve been blessed with because for the most part I figure people don’t want to hear people complain. I know I don’t. There use to be a running joke with Granny that you never wanted to ask her how she was doing because she would tell ya! Her list of ailments were longer than mine!

I want to be a positive person. I don’t want to be known as a complainer. But someone said something today that made me pause. She has known pain. Her son was murdered. She said today something to the effect of, “God wants us to be honest. Honest with our pain. Without honesty there is no release.” No release from the pain without honesty. In her case she was talking about grief but I think it can be applied to physical ailments as well.

I am an actress by nature. I can smile through just about anything. My younger son is learning this fabulous trait. He had an acute pain on his side. When the doctor would push on it, he would smile. The doctor pushed harder, and Jack smiled bigger. The doctor looked at me and said, “He can’t have an appendicitis he isn’t in enough pain.” But I knew my boy. I knew exactly what he was doing, because I do it all the time. Hide the pain with a smile. How sad. How very very sad. Luckily we got Jack to the hospital and he did in fact have appendicitis and had an emergency surgery to have it removed.

I also think at least for me there was a tinge of pride involved in my unwillingness to share with people that I suffered for fear that the image they had of me would be tarnished. There that is my honesty. I am a proud person who has at times suffered alone for fear of what people may think.

So does God want us to be like Granny who was always telling everyone about her ailments and how awful she felt? Or does God want us to hide the pain with a smile? I am not at all sure what the exact answer is but here is my new answer. To the few people who really care I will be honest and I will smile because here is the Truth.. I have diabetes, asthma, fibromyalgia, have been known to have a panic attack or two, and ADD.

But it does not have me.

God does.

:) 

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which will be revealed in us.

Lunch Lady Challenge

I try to give my boys a challenge each day to try to accomplish. I usually give them a hug or pat their hand if they don’t seem to be in the hugging mood. And then I will say, “okay your challenge for today is:…”

Most of the time the challenge is something like: Tell one person something you noticed about them that is nice. Give someone something they need that they didn’t have and don’t expect it back. Or Smile at someone today. We have done all kinds of challenges through the years. But as I was thinking about it this morning I realized some of the neat stories I’ve heard through the years because of the boys taking it seriously and doing them.

When Kendall was in 1^st grade I gave him the lunch lady challenge. It started because he had come home from school one day and I had asked him what the best part of his day was.

He said, “oh mom, it was lunch, we had noodles and rolls and it was soo good.”

I then asked, “Did you tell the lunch lady thank you?”

“No” He said

So the next day I said, “Kendall today’s challenge is to look the lunch lady in the eye and tell her thank you.”

Fast forward to fifth grade. I go to the school to prepare for the 5^th grade Valentine party. I need to get into the cafeteria to set up. I didn’t have a key and so this older lady smiles and says I can get you in. So we proceed to go to the cafeteria. We are making small talk and she asks, “Whose mom are you?”

“I am Kendall’s mom.” I say

The lady begins to cry and says, “Can I tell you something about your son? Every day for as long as I can remember he has smiled and said thank you to me. I am retiring this year, but I will never forget your son and the encouragement he gave me. I also need to confess that any time we had noodles and rolls I would give him extra because I knew it was his favorite.”

I had no idea.  I had no idea that Kendall kept doing that challenge every day for four years! WoW! Praise God!

This year I gave my younger son Jack a challenge. I said, “Be kind today, find someone who no one else may want to be kind to, and be kind to that person.” He came home that day from school and was smiling.

I said, “How was your day?”

Jack said, “We had a fire in the kitchen at school today and we all had to stand outside and it was cold. Our class was next to the kindergarten class. There was a little boy that didn’t have a coat. I gave him mine.”

Then my sweet Jack looked down and softly said, “Was that kind?”

“Yes Jack that was very kind” I said softly back to him, and gave him a hug.

Mentoring

Mentoring

I recently went to a workshop on Christian mentoring. There was so much good information, and thought maybe some of you may be interested in it.

Jesus didn’t mentor everyone. He picked three to be closest to. He of course was close to all 12, but picked three for the closest mentoring relationship.

When you are mentoring remember this:

M-modeling

E- encouraging

N- nurturing

T- transparency

O- opportunities

R- relationship

M- Modeling is the most powerful form of learning. What you do impacts people more than what you say.

E-encouraging, find things that you appreciate about the person you are mentoring, and tell them.

N-nurturing Look inside them for the person they long to be. Ask lots of questions to figure this out. Jesus used 288 questions. Questions are good. Ask lots of questions. One might be: What would you like your life to look like 10 years from now? Recognize that there are no two people alike.  What worked in a past mentoring relationship may not work in the current one. Be a good listener. More listening and asking questions than speaking.

T- Transparency, tell them up front that you do not have all the answers. Give what you have to give. Be who God has made you to be. Be approachable and available. Be loyal. Be open. Be more willing to be John the Baptist and point them to Jesus, and less willing to be their Jesus.

O-Opportunities, look around and quit making excuses as to why you can’t mentor someone. If you had a bad experience in the past it doesn’t mean you can’t still mentor. Jesus had two who betrayed him, but that wasn’t the mentor’s fault. He never said to any of the 12, “I’ve had it with you.”

Also just because you yourself have had failures doesn’t mean you can’t give to someone else. Focus on what you learned through the trial you went through and share it.

R-relationship, this means the person you are mentoring is in a relationship with you. They are NOT your project, the minute you start thinking that you are no longer a mentor you have made your mentor your idol. This is God’s work. God’s plan. God’s hand. Also remember to start where the person is, not where you want them to be.

Where do I begin? What questions do I start with?

1. Goals: Where do you want to be in your walk with the Lord?
2. Reality: where do you see yourself now?
3. Options: How can you get there? Help them make a list of options.
4. Walk: Let’s look at our list and do at least one today.